Conversations
by jane0904
Summary: Next in Mal/Freya 'verse. Continuing from LOST. Conversations between various people. A three-parter. Thank you for reading.
1. Chapter 1

Hank was working out. He'd taken to using Jayne's weights late at night, when he was pretty sure the big mercenary had retired to his bunk, and was now doing arm curls. His t-shirt was damp and sticking to his back, but he knew he had to work up a sweat for it to do any good.

"What the hell're you doin'?" came a voice he knew all too well.

Hank turned and looked up to see Jayne leaning on the railing of the catwalk. "Um, hi."

"I knew someone was messing with my stuff. Just never figured it was you." He walked down the stairs.

"I … uh …" Hank looked down at the dumbbell and considered claiming to be sleepwalking. Or maybe sleep exercising.

"You tryin' to get some shape into that thing you call a body?" Jayne asked, striding across the cargo bay floor.

Hank wondered just how fast he could run, given he was on a small boat and there wasn't much place to run to. "I was just …" He tried a grin. "You not sleepy?"

"Thought it might be Freya, or maybe even Zoe. But you?"

Hank sighed. "So I was using your weights. Is that a crime?"

"Depends on what you were using 'em for. What are you tryin' to do?" Jayne asked. "'Cause whatever it is, it ain't workin'."

Hank glanced down at his body. He didn't think it was that bad. "I'm toning."

"Toning." Jayne looked at him, his face blank. "Ain't that what girls do?"

"Are you calling me a girl?"

"Hey, if the pants fit …"

Hank let that slide by. "It's just …" He paused.

"Zoe?"

"Yeah," the pilot admitted. "There she is, this warrior woman with a body to make a man just want to sit up and beg, and here I am with little more definition than … than one of Simon's saline bags."

"Well, you're goin' about it all wrong."

"Wrong?" Hank looked down at his T. "I'm working up a sweat."

"That ain't the point." Jayne took the dumbbell from him and did a couple of curls, his biceps bulging impressively. "Any fool can work up a sweat. Even the captain, and he don't exercise at all. 'Cept for when we play ball."

"You think?" Hank asked. "Seriously I don't think he needs to, all that activity he and Freya get up to. Sometimes I can't sleep for the noise."

"Me neither, though I generally deal with that myself."

Hank grimaced and made a mental note to remember to wipe down the weights before he used them again. If he ever got the chance to use them again. "So … you gonna show me how?"

Jayne's eyes narrowed, as if he were taking into account whether Mal would let him get away with murder, then shrugged. "Don't mind. Used to spot the Preacher, though he was in better shape'n you."

"What was he like?" Hank asked. "Everyone talks about him, but no-one ever really _talks_ about him."

"We got on okay." From Jayne this was the highest form of recommendation. "Not like we were so different, somehow."

"But he was a Shepherd, and you're …" Hank searched for the right word. "Not," he finally came up with.

"No, I ain't. But for a religious man he knew a whole damn lot about breaking the law." Jayne laughed. "Sure would like to have known what his background used to be, 'fore he decided to become a man of the cloth."

"We're all complicated," Hank said, watching as Jayne set up the barbell.

"I ain't," the big mercenary disagreed. "What you see is what you get."

"Now I know for a fact that ain't true. You've been helping River ever since Osiris - that's mighty fine of you."

Jayne wouldn't look at him. "Just being friendly. And it ain't like I can do anything else - the moonbrain's always there, every time I turn around."

"She's not here tonight," Hank pointed out.

"She will be," Jayne assured him. "She will be." He clapped his hands, rubbing them together. "Now, you serious about getting fit?"

Hank nodded. "That I am."

"Good. 'Cause it ain't gonna be easy, but if you work at it, you can look like … well, not me, but maybe the doc."

"That's fine," Hank said hurriedly. "Just so long as I don't have to shave my chest."

"You think he does that?" Jayne asked, looking at him askew. "'Cause all the women I know like something to grab hold of." He lifted his shirt to show the mat of black hair across his pectorals. He slapped his rock-hard belly.

"Jayne, put it away," Hank said. "I ain't that way inclined."

"Wasn't too sure before you started chasing Zoe." He pulled his shirt back into place. "Coulda been."

"Did I give that impression?"

"Look, I thought the doc was 'til he started grappling with Kaylee."

"Just because people are choosy doesn't mean they're sly."

"You saying I ain't choosy?"

Hank gave a smile and chuckled. "I think you might be the choosiest of us all."

"How d'you figure that?"

"You spend all your time in whorehouses, but I bet if that one perfect woman comes along, you'd be faithful like a shot."

"Who said she ain't?" Jayne pointed to the bench. "Lie down."

Hank didn't move. "You had someone?"

"Lie down." The big man glared at the pilot, but he still showed no signs of complying. "Aw hell." He sat down on the bench himself. "Okay, yeah, once. Long time ago. Woman like me. Bit older. But she was …" He smiled to himself. "Thought it was gonna be forever."

"You kissed her on the mouth?"

"And everywhere else."

"Too much information," Hank said quickly. "So what happened?"

"She got killed on a job." Jayne stood up. "Happens." He shook himself, not wanting to think about it. "Now, you gonna do this or just stand around flappin' your lips at me?"

Hank laid down on the bench, flexing his hands and wrapping them around the barbell. "Did you love her?" he asked.

"More'n I thought I could."

Hank was amazed at the raw emotion in the big man's voice. "Then I'm sorry."

"Yeah. Me too." Jayne stood behind him. "You ready?"

"As I'll ever be." He lifted the bar above his chest and started to lower it down. "_Wuh de mah_!" he exclaimed. "That's heavy!"

"No point in doing things by halves," Jayne said. "Come on, you got another fourteen of these to go yet."

"You trying to give me a heart attack?"

"You wanna get muscular for Zoe?"

Hank bit his lip and raised the bar.

"I never thought I'd live to see the day," Freya said, shaking her head where she stood in the doorway above them.

Mal glanced at her, smiling. "It's the black. Does strange things to people."

"I'm just surprised. You know Jayne's had a crush on Zoe for a long time."

"And Kaylee. And Inara. And you," Mal said pointedly.

Freya made that _tsk_ sound behind her teeth. "Now, see, that's something I just don't get."

Mal put his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. "Just so long as you don't." He kissed her gently. "In fact the only one he hasn't been enamoured with is River."

"Significant, that, don't you think?"

Mal stared at her. "You don't mean -"

"I'm just saying that he might be more smitten than he likes to let on."

"With River?" Mal couldn't have sounded more surprised, and Freya had to laugh.

"They're very alike."

"She's young enough to be his daughter!"

"So?"

"Woman, you are completely off your nut."

"Just … watch this space."

"What space?"

Freya lifted her arm to indicate Serenity. "This one." Then she pointed to the crates stacked to one side of the cargo bay. "And that one in particular."

Mal looked down. Sure enough, lying on top, watching Hank and Jayne, was River, her head pillowed on her hands. She glanced around at them and smiled, then went back to watching. "That's … interesting."

Freya grinned. "Just don't tell Simon. He's got enough to worry about with the upcoming wedding, he doesn't need to be worrying about his sister too."

"Oh, I think he worries about her all the time anyway." He smiled slightly. "But I take your point. It'll be our secret."

"On this boat?" Freya laughed.

"Anyway, I thought it was all on River's side," Mal said, trying to regain some control.

"And I think she knows exactly what she's doing."

Mal shook his head. "If you're saying what I think you're saying …" He shuddered. "Makes me all kinds of uncomfortable."

"Can't have that," Freya said, pressing her body against his.

"And that ain't helping."

"You want me to stop?"

He looked down into her dark eyes. "Come on," he said softly, running his hand up from her waist to her breast. "I've kinda got the urge to ravish you."

"Not if I ravish you first."

"You think?"

She grinned and took his hand, leading him towards their bunks.

River watched them leave then turned her attention back to the two men below her. And they were right. She did know exactly what she was doing.


	2. Chapter 2

"Honey, I'm not so sure about this."

"What?" Kaylee asked, checking Bethany was sleeping soundly in her crib and pulling the light cover a little higher.

"Your family organising our wedding."

Kaylee turned to look at him. "Why?"

"I … it's a lot of work."

"That weren't what you were gonna say." She crossed her arms. "You worried they might embarrass you?"

"No, no!" Simon said quickly, stepping forward. "I … it's just … being done third hand like this … I …" He tried to gather himself. "I thought you'd want to be doing it."

"You are. You're worried they're gonna make it some kind of big fancy hoedown. Ain't you?"

He tried to smile. "A little?" he admitted, waiting for her to get really angry with him and walk away in a huff.

To his surprise she smiled. "Honey, they wouldn't do that."

"Oh. Good."

"That don't sound like you're reassured at all."

"No, I am." He smiled again. "Honest."

"Come on," she said, taking his hand and leading him back to their room next door. "You really need to tell me what the problem is."

Simon followed her inside. "I … I wish it were just us."

"Like the Cap's wedding?" Kaylee kicked off her shoes.

Simon nodded, closing the door behind him. "Yes. That was just us, just family, and that made it so much more … fun." It was a bad word to use, but the only one that came to mind.

"It will be family," she pointed out. "Just maybe a few more of them."

"How many more?" he asked, pulling his sweater over his head and letting it fall to the decking.

"See, you just don't know how to treat your clothes," Kaylee scolded, picking it up and turning the sleeves the right way out. "And I ain't your maid."

"No, I know." He took the offending article from her and dropped it back on the floor. "So how many more?"

"More what?" She shimmied out of her coveralls.

"People."

"Well, there's my immediate kin, a'course. Then there's Pa's three brothers and their families, and I think four of them got married in the last year, according to my momma, so there's them, then –"

Simon stepped forward and put his hand across her mouth. "A rough estimate will be fine."

She licked his palm and he hurriedly pulled it away, wiping it ostentatiously on his pants. "Around fifty. Or so. I guess."

He swallowed. "Fifty?"

"I didn't know you could squeak," Kaylee said in delight.

"I didn't squeak."

"Yes, you did."

"I … well, if I did it was in horror." He pulled his pants off one leg at a time and dropped them on top of the sweater.

"That ain't a lot. When Moira, my cousin, got married, there was well over three hundred people there."

"Oh." Simon felt a little weak at the knees. "Where did this small family gathering take place?"

"There's a Mission hall in town – they hired that."

"And your folks aren't planning on anything quite so … elaborate?"

Kaylee pulled her own top over her head, folding it carefully before putting it down. "No. This'll be a quiet affair." She looked down at her breasts, spilling out of their confinement a little. "Damn, I'm gonna have to get me a new bra if these don't get any smaller."

"I'll buy you all the bras you like," Simon assured her.

She looked at him. "Really? You like 'em like this?" She hefted them in her hands, and they jiggled.

"Those, and every other part of you." Simon stepped out of his underwear and climbed into bed.

"That's nice." She smiled at him and undid the offending item, tossing it onto the chair before doing the same with her panties. She slid in next to him, moving her body along his into her normal position. "So what would a Tam family wedding've been like?"

"Back on Osiris?" Simon thought for a moment. "Formal. Morning suits for the men, cocktail dresses for the women."

"What tail?"

"Cocktail. Something between daywear and ball gowns."

"I like ball gowns."

"And you look delicious in yours." He reached down and put a kiss on her nose.

"Thank you kindly. Go on. About the wedding."

"Well, it would have been held in the cathedral, of course. All the best people get married there. And probably the Bishop presiding."

"He a kind of super-Preacher?"

"Something like that. But with more jewellery."

"Oh."

"And then the reception would have probably been at home, in the ballroom."

"You gotta ballroom?" She raised herself up enough to look into Simon's eyes. "A proper ballroom?"

"Only ever used on high days and holidays," he confirmed. "River and I used to play in there. Until we got found out one day and the doors were locked." He smiled. "That didn't stop us … River could always find the key."

Kaylee lay back down. "It sounds romantic," she said, a little wistfully.

"No, it wasn't," Simon said firmly. "It would have been silly and over indulgent, and all done just to make it look like we were better than everyone else."

"Still … a ballroom."

"Kaylee, I'm going to marry you. I don't care where we do it. I don't even care if _Mal_ does it."

"The Cap?"

"Exactly. Traditionally a ship's captain can marry a couple. I don't think that's ever been rescinded."

Kaylee thought for a moment, then shook her head. "No, I think I want my family to be there."

"They will be. And I'm sure it'll be wonderful."

"Momma knows what I like." She sighed with happiness.

"Good," Simon said, still feeling a thread of apprehension.

Kaylee wriggled against him. "Be kinda nice to tell 'em we're expecting again, though, wouldn't it?"

He looked down at her. "These things take time."

"I know, but we've been trying the last couple of months, and I don't want Bethany to be an only child, do you?"

"Of course not. But she's not a year yet."

"Simon, I want lots of kids. Hundreds."

"I'm not sure I can manage that," he joked.

"At least three. And not so far apart they don't get on."

"_Ai ren_, your children will all adore each other."

"How come you always know the right thing to say?"

"I'm well-trained."

"That you are." She began to stroke his chest. "I just wish Freya and the Cap were so lucky."

"Me too."

"He's so sure."

"I wish he wasn't. Or at least … I wish I could make it different."

"So she could get pregnant?"

"Mmn."

"But the Cap is positive she will."

"I know." He rolled into her a little more. "You know, I was speaking to Zoe about that, just today. She says he was like this when they were fighting in the war, certain they could beat the Alliance, and that certainty kept his men going. His belief."

"Until Serenity Valley."

"I just hope something else doesn't happen like that, to take that certainty away again. I'm not sure he could recover."

"He believes in Freya now. More'n anything. In how she feels, how he feels …" Kaylee snuggled closer. "Ain't nothing gonna stop them."

"Do you think this is what he was like before the war?"

"What, you mean all warm and cuddly?"

"I'm not sure I'd ever describe our captain as cuddly."

"Oh, I don't know. And I think Freya finds him that way."

Simon considered for a moment, then shook his head. "No. Definitely not cuddly."

Kaylee grinned. "Okay. Then … tender."

"That I can see. Yes, I think maybe he was."

"The war took more from him than maybe he realised."

"Oh, I think he knew. Just wouldn't let anyone back in, in case he lost them again."

"Like Inara."

Simon hugged his fiancée. "I know how he felt."

"You ain't gonna lose me, silly," she said, running her hand down his smooth chest towards his groin. "And him and Freya're gonna be parents. River says so."

"And she knows?" Simon closed his eyes briefly as her hand stroked him.

"Of course she does." Kaylee smiled. "Now, you gonna make love to me or am I gonna just lie here?"

"You never … _ever_ … just lie there," Simon said firmly, making good on her request.


	3. Chapter 3

"Can I come in?"

Inara looked up from where she was writing, covering it over quickly with a clean sheet of paper. "Of course."

Zoe ducked inside and sat down. "I wondered if I could ask your advice."

"You?" Inara couldn't stop the slight cough of laughter. "I thought you never took advice from anyone."

"I don't," Zoe confirmed. "Unless I ask for it."

"And you're asking me?"

"It's about … Hank."

"Ah." Inara busied herself for a moment putting her pens away.

"Is that all you've got to say?"

"Is there more?"

"Inara …"

The Companion smiled at looked at the other woman. "What do you want to ask about?"

"I've … that is I'm …" Zoe stopped.

"This is a first. You lost for words."

"I'm not lost. In fact, if anything there's too many."

"Let me try and help. You're getting closer to Hank and you want to know if I think it's a good idea. Right?"

"Sort of."

"Sort of?"

"Actually I was wondering whether you thought we should have sex."

"I presume you're talking about you and Hank."

"I wasn't meaning me and Jayne."

"Really? I always thought you'd make such a handsome couple."

Zoe stood up. "If that's all the help I'm gonna get –"

Inara took hold of the first mate's arm and pulled her back down. "I'm sorry. It's just … you always seemed so sure of yourself."

"Not this time."

"What's changed?"

"I'm … He's …" She stopped.

"Ah. That much."

"I just don't know where I stand with him."

"He cares about you."

"And I … he's okay." She couldn't say it, not yet. Not to anyone, not even the phantom of Wash who appeared in her dreams. And he'd been most insistent.

"Just okay?"

"Least I'm not threatening to shoot him anymore."

"Have you kissed again?"

Zoe glared at her, then her look softened. "River told you."

"She might have mentioned seeing you two in the galley a few nights ago."

"So I guess everyone knows?"

"No." Inara shook her head, smoothing her dress. "She only told me because she said she was going to break in two if she didn't."

"It's only kissing," Zoe insisted. "We haven't gone … further."

"No fondling?"

"'Nara!"

"Not even a little?"

The first mate's lips twitched ever so slightly. "Maybe a little."

"And you're wondering whether to take it to the next step."

"Sex."

"Not making love?"

"No." Zoe's voice was definite. "Not yet."

"But the sweaty, grinding, groping part is okay."

"Inara …" It was unheard of, but this dusky warrior seemed to be squirming with embarrassment.

The Companion took pity on her and attempted to change the subject, asking brightly, "So. What were you thinking of getting him for Christmas? If you haven't done so already."

"Well, I was kinda thinking of me naked wearing a big red ribbon lying on his bed," Zoe said dryly.

"Thank you," Inara said sincerely. "I now will not be able to get that out of my head for a good week."

Zoe smiled. "Good. As it happens I have bought him something, but it ain't nothing personal like that. Just a … you know, I don't think I want to tell you."

"It's going to be a surprise?"

"Not that much."

"Zoe, why are you asking me this? I mean, about you and Hank having sex?"

"I kinda wanted someone else's opinion. Other than Wash's."

"Wash?" Inara stared.

"I've been dreaming about him the past few nights, and on and off for a while since, and every time I ask him the same question." He'd be sitting there on the end of the bed, looking at her with those sad eyes he made sometimes, calling her _lambie-toes_ or _sweet cakes_, tickling her feet, then asking her what was wrong.

"Which is?"

"Does he mind about me and Hank."

"And what's the answer?"

"I always seem to wake up before he says." Mostly.

"And how does that make you feel?"

"Frustrated." Zoe leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "I don't know what I'm doing, Inara." She shook her head, her long curls vibrating in sympathy. "I've never been like this before."

"Not even with Wash?"

"Oh, no, I always knew where I was with him. Even when we were arguing." And making up afterwards, which was always so much better.

"What about when you first met him?"

"I didn't like him!" She laughed. "Something else those two have in common. I hated that damn moustache more than you could ever imagine, and the way he looked at me …"

"How?"

"Like he was sizing me up. I wanted to shoot him there and then."

"But he got under your skin."

"Mmn. Like a parasite."

Inara grinned. "I'm not sure I've ever heard Wash described that way before."

"Oh, you never heard how we talked about each other _to_ each other. The things we said …" There was sadness in Zoe's voice as well as joy at remembering the good times. _All_ those good times …

"And Hank?"

"He's kinda done the same thing. I know Freya's been telling me to give the man a chance for a long time, but … in spite of that, I think I might just need him." She closed her mouth tightly, as if the words had escaped before she realised.

"Really?" Inara was surprised.

Zoe looked at her. "You think I'm such a strong bitch that I don't need anyone?"

"I think you have a centre like marshmallow."

Zoe stared. "You been talking to Hank?"

"No. Why?"

"Nothing." She shook herself. "But this isn't helping."

"I'm not sure I can."

"I just feel so … wound up. Like I'm a spring and I'm gonna bust if I don't do something." She glanced up. "I even borrowed one of Kaylee's doohickeys, but it just … it doesn't hit the spot."

"Perhaps you're not using it right." Zoe just looked at her. "Okay, sorry, that was not the right thing to say. But I'm not sure what is."

"I just want someone to tell me that it's okay to sleep with Hank."

"No, you don't." Inara sighed and put her hand on her friend's thigh. "If you have to ask permission, then it's not the right time."

"So when the Captain tells me to dump him somewhere on a dark moon, and I tell him I ain't going to, that's the right time?"

Inara smiled. "Zoe, I know you like Hank. A lot. And I also know that it's probably a lot more than just _like_. But _you'll_ know. And when that moment comes along, you and he are going to make such beautiful music together."

Zoe laughed, not able to stop herself. "Music? Now I imagine that's the last thing we'll be doing."

"Just take it slowly," Inara advised. "You've got all the time in the 'verse."

"I used to think that with Wash. Until he died." The sadness was back.

"He's not Wash."

"So he keeps telling me."

"Are you listening?"

"You know, I think I am." She smiled and stood up. "Thanks."

"What for? I don't think I've actually done anything."

"You've put things in perspective."

Inara raised her eyebrows. "Really?"

"Mmn. If it happens, it happens."

"And if it doesn't?"

"Well, I've still got the ribbon."


End file.
